Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The Storm Before the Calm (posted 7-21-07)

Okay - so it's time to swallow my "shyness" and do something. I've been wanting to get The Spirit of Scrapping off the ground for forever. Unfortunately, it's not happening because I have a problem. I'm horribly shy.

I got a lot better about being a wall flower until I got Bell's Palsy three (yes, three) times in 18 months which left me with some permanent paralysis in my face. It's embarrassing. I know it, though most people say it's not noticable, I know it - and I'm self-conscious about it. Mostly you notice it when I'm really tired. When I smile it's crooked. My left eye closes when I yawn, chew or smile (more so than the right) and the left side of my mouth doesn't go up like the right side does. The result is something, of a Picaso.

In my opinion, Picaso and God are both geniuses so who am I to argue with a genius. This was evidentally what I'm supposed to look like at this age so here I am in all my asymmetrical glory. (Oh yes, did I mention I'm REALLY OCD about symmetry? I love symmetry. Things MUST be symmetrical for me to be happy or satisfied. Another reason this is really tough for me.)

So that being said, I'm swallowing my "Oh my Gosh I'm SO not symmetrical" pride/fear/shyness and putting out my first invitations to my first "class" or "demonstration" or "crop" or what ever you want to call it.

Well, the other problem is that one should have a place to hold one's crops to do this. Which means I must make my class room. Yeah... making a class room... In my house that's too small for the 5 of us that live here already, I'm making a classroom...

It's coming along. Slowly. REALLY slowly. Like snail's pace slowly. I decided I needed to clean, purge, show what a great organizer and decorator I can be. I also wanted to present an imaginative way of storing my beloved scrappy things. So, the result is this:

Yep, that's right. I've destroyed my scrappy space in efforts to clean, purge, organize and display properly my beautiful ready to crop/teach/party with my scrappy pals.

Please wish me luck. I am beginning to feel as though I'll NEVER dig out of this horrendous mess I've made. God forbid unexpected company should show up. I'd be horrified right now.

So this is what I'll be doing today. What about you? Have you made anything like this only to create something beautiful? PLEASE share it with me so I don't feel so alone! I NEED to feel like I'm in good company!

1 comment:

Lissa Ballard said...

Comment from: Jodi
Good luck to you! No, I have not. I don't have any spare room right now. lol

Comment from: Tara
I know how you feel about the mess and people seeing it...YIKERS...

Good luck with your class...what an adventure.

And God made you who you were meant to look the way you are now and I am sure you are fantastically beautiful

Comment from: Jacquie
Lissa, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside. You, my Friend, are a beautiful person on the inside. How do I know this without ever having actually met you? Because I can tell in your writing. You are absolutely beautiful and I'm sure that once you set your mind to this, that everything will turn out just as it's supposed to. Stop fretting!

Comment from: Annie Belott
Lissa, I just met you IRL and I did not notice a thing!! I just noticed your bubbly personality and how we clicked! Now Im gonna be paranoid next time I see you! just think of it as character!!

Comment from: Jennifer Sizemore
Oh my - you have some work ahead of you!@!!!!

Comment from: Paula
Ok, now it makes a lot more sense! It's funny when you start on the last post and them you find our there was a previous one related, hehe! In any event, I know you'll get there soon!
You made me actually LAUGH OUT LOUD with your "assymetric glory". You are such a silly woman, my friend! It's funny how we may come accross our "virtual" friends so differently. I would've never imagined you shy! I know it must be tough to deal with the face semi-paralysis, but hopefully you'll get a little bit more used to it. We all get so self concsious about our little "flaws", when those little things are what makes us who we are... if we could only see it!
Hugs, my friend!!!