Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Posted 10/5/06

A moment in the life of me...

Ok, so blog ring, week four - My most embarrassing moment was...

I've had way too many of these... lots and lots. I learned a long time ago I had to laugh at myself to keep my feelings from getting hurt. When you do something stupid, like trip, fall, call someone the wrong name, etc, it doens't really hurt as much as it bruises your pride lol...

I think my most embarassing moment ever was when I was 19. I was trying desperately to be impressive. I had lost a lot of weight recently (thanks to having had mono for two and a half months) and I thought I looked super! I had bought a new blue dress that hung nicely off my newly thinned frame. (Like something from Saturday Night Fever - sleek and sexy to my thinking...) I had found the cutest Candies ever that were WAY too high for me, being the supreme klutz I am but I HAD to have them. You remember them from the late 70's? The adorable hoochie momma shoes? They were light colored shoe bottom (aka molded plastic made to look like wood) with precious light tan leather in a scallop cut with sweet cut outs - made it look like leather eyelet lace - just over my toes. What ever made me think I could walk in these things was beyond me.

But I donned my new dress, fixed my make up just so and prepared my growing hair (I'd been growing it longer from a short cut for about 4 months) and on the feet they went - all 3 inch heels of them...

So, my parents were hosting a Christmas party for all the people in my Dad's office and some others who were affiliated with education in the state. Daddy had the third highest position in the state as far as Department of Education was concerned and there a lot of very important people there. Not the least of which were people who could directly affect my future at the college at which I was in attendance. I really wanted to make a good impression for my parents and for myself so I was the picture of poise, grace and presence.

That is, until I tried to take a silver tray of drinks down the steps to hand them out to some guests.

I'm not really sure how it happened. I don't know if it was that tiny heel catching in the carpet or if it was just my being "The Great American Disaster Looking for A Place To Happen" but it was a disaster to be sure. The first step was a miss and I began to go. Somehow, I made two full circles going down those steps (as evidenced by the perfectly round circle I carved into the wall with the heel of my shoe as I tumbled). "Tail over teacup" as my grandmother used to say, down the steps I went. There were only seven little steps but they felt like a massive staircase likened unto the staircase Scarlett O'Hara traveled in Gone with the Wind. It was an eternity I swear. I felt like I'd been falling in slow motion for at least 5 minutes.

As if my horror at falling weren't bad enough, I solidified my truly madly deeply seated embarrassement by actually turning a corner at the bottom of the stairs and landing spread eagled in the entrance to the downstairs bathroom with whiskey, vodka, rum and God only knows what else hosing me down from head to toe. Mascara dripped from my eyes, my beautifully coiffed hair looked as though someone styled it with a hand mixer and my shoes were actually broken. The heel had broken away from the shoe, never to be worn again.

I suppose it was just as well. I did end up breaking my tail bone (for the FIRST time) that day. I think I broke my pride. Really broke it. If I'd never ever experienced embarrassment and loss of pride before, surely to GOD this was all she wrote. It just couldn't get much worse than that. My father's co-workers saw it, people from my college saw it and worst of all, my boyfriend saw it. I don't think i'd ever experienced absolute public humiliation until that moment.

So what did I do? I stood up, straightened my dress, and looked carefully at all the appalled faces staring and asking me if I was okay and OH MY GOSH CAN WE HELP YOU, and said, "Wow! I guess I should get you some new drinks!" and promptly disappeared for the night. My boyfriend was sweet enough to take me away for the evening - I think we saw a movie. It was ages before I could look at two of my professors in the eye again and I've never ever tried to carry even a single drink down the steps! And yes, every single time I saw any of those people, they advised caution when using the stairs.

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