The first day of school.....
Well, the day I've been dreading for the last five and a half years is here and it saddened me terribly.
Dalton has started full day school. He's in Kindergarten. I was totally unprepared for both our reactions to his new situation.
I actually put him on the bus, snapping a few very wet pictures as it had poured down rain for days at that point (thanks Ernesto). I felt it was important for him to experience all the normal things he would be experiencing and doing this new year in school and riding a bus, while not a new experience, can be confusing when there are so many kids getting on at once. He's only accustomed to being a single getting on the bus - his bus stop has 9 kids there!
Michelle also put Jenna on the bus in her neighborhood and came and picked me up. We drove to the school together and went to our respective rooms to see our children safely seated and ready for school.
Now, being a former teacher, there is something about a school that makes my skin tingle, my heart race and I breathe better. I love the sights and smells of school and truth be told, I do miss teaching. Walking into the school and seeing all the sights and children made me feel so good and warm inside. Everyone was excited and filled with wonder at all the new experiences to be had in that one day. Tomorrow, I'm sure, would be completely different for many children, but today was fun.
I walked to Dalton's room, introduced myself to his teacher, who is just a wonderful lady from what I can tell, and took a peek around the room to view the set up and where my sweet child would be spending the majority of his life for the next 9 months. I knew he'd be excited and trepidatious too. He was the first child into the room from the bus and was surprised to see me in his room! "Mommy!" I turned and was caught off guard by the look on his face. It was half shock, half relief. He was so relieved to see me there and it broke my heart a little because I could see his reservations. I introduced him to his teacher's aide who is a neighbor and good friends with some good friends of ours. Then Mrs. Boyd introduced herself to Dalton and got his things settled in where his "cubby" was. He got his name tag and I signed up for some parent involvement activities. Hmmm... they put together scrapbooks for the kids each year - each child - so what do you think I volunteered for first? ha ha ha ha ha... I'll be working with them during November getting the pages done for the month. I'm very excited!
His friend Jason, from his Pre-K class last year, came into the room and they sat together, chatting and drawing their pictures, writing their names (first and last all by themselves thank you) and I decided to take my leave at that point, realizing he was fine and I needed to skeedattle while I could without dissolving.
Unfortunately, I didn't make it. I got to the door and I couldn't go any further. I stood in the hallway, watching my sweet boy in his new environment and the tears began. I cried and cried. Gently, softly, no sound, not sobbing - just gentle tears flowing down my cheeks. Watching my child seemingly growing before my eyes. I still cry thinking about that vision. He's so precious and such a gift. They all are...
To beat all, I cried when Taylor left for school too. I cannot believe he's a Senior. He's so tall and handsome (despite the fact his hair is WAY too long and needs to get out of his face so badly) and he's so serious. And you won't believe what he wore to school. A shirt and tie and a pair of black and blue sleep pants with his black Vans. When I asked him why he ruined the start of a fantastic outfit he said, "Mom, I just want my teachers to know what they're getting themselves in to this year with me." What a guy... such a sense of humor and what a great head on his shoulders.
You wouldn't believe his schedule this year. They are on blocks so he has four really tough classes this semester... Anatomy and Physiology, Business Law, Business Management and Advanced World Literature. (Two AP courses and two business courses - egads...)
He feels as though it's no big deal and the two business classes will be a breeze. I'm hoping for him that's so because I'm sure Anatomy and Physiology and AP World Lit will be tough. (He's trying to get all his really tough classes out of the way so when he goes to Europe next spring with the school for break he won't have to worry about any assignments he won't be able to complete. Their itinerary is amazingly full so he won't have any time for school work.)
So, my sons are growing up. Too fast. Emotionally I'm not ready for these strides but it's not about me. It's about life and it's about my boys. My beautiful, handsome, intelligent boys who are ready to tackle their worlds full force. Why oh why can't they share that energy and strength with their sappy mommas? (*sniff giggle giggle sniff*)