Your importance as a parent
I decided, quite on a whim, to go see my dad yesterday.
Yesterday morning, as we were chatting as we always do each morning, we spoke about someone who truly has NO clue how lonely life is going to get in their future. He made a remark that struck a chord in my heart. He said, "X has no idea what lonely is. Having a beautiful home, a comfortable bed, a little bit of financial freedom, great friends, all that's nice. But without someone to share it with, it's hollow, it just lacks real meaning and substance. I'm so lonely. I'm really lonely."
Ok - when your dad tells you that, it just sends red flags all over the place. I couldn't make plans fast enough to surprise him for dinner. Since the older two boys' father was in town for the evening, and Kevin had to work today early, it was a great chance to take off, just Dalton and me and have some time with Daddy. So, that's just what we did... We nearly flew up to Richmond to be there in time for dinner... Didn't pack a change of clothes - grabbed a box of toys and our toothbrushes and left. It was a bit liberating. Really it was. To just GO because I wanted to was fabulous. This summer will be that way - when Dalton's not in school, it will be awesome to just go when I want to and stay as long as Daddy wants us to. Because we must do this.
It's not just because I love spending time with Daddy. It's not just because we miss momma so dang much (though we miss her so much it hurts). It's because while I miss her that much, I still have half my perfect parents. Daddy's still here to share his wisdom, his knowledge, his experience, his love and his smiles. Even his horribly bad jokes are a source of joy for me because he's my daddy.
And he's 81 years old and I don't know how long I've got to share time with him. I don't know how much longer I have to just pick up and go to Richmond to hug my dad, listen to him tell me the same story for the 1000th time, watch him smile as he looks at pictures of places he and Momma went together, remember things they did together.
I have my daddy for now... right now... not tomorrow, not next week... I have him for now... and for now, I must take the time I have to enjoy him and to tell him how much he means to me, how much I love him. I don't ever want him to go a single day without hearing how much my family and I love him. He is lonely, and hopefully, I can help lessen that a little bit. After all, Daddy helped give me life, I suppose I can give him my time. What a small price to pay for all the joy he's given me!
I love you Daddy. Thanks for the great night! I'll see you soon and I'll be talking to you tomorrow!