Forgiveness

Today I start treating myself better, eating better, exercising more and begin treating my body like the temple God intended me to live in here on Earth. I've done a lot of damage to this temple over the last 51 years. I've mistreated it, poked holes in it, had it cut. It'e been bloated with carbonated drinks, junk food, bad food and salt and deprived it of the same and more. I have starved myself, and exposed my body and system to damage because of improperly using laxative and water pills and food deprivation. My body been expanded well beyond it's boundries and while it's smaller now, it's not as small as it should be. I feel certain a lot of my autoimmune troubles would be better kept in check if I could renovate the temple. So today, I vow to my blog (and whomever may read it-all 3 of you), to myself and to the Lord that I will no longer mistreat my temple to the extent it has been mistreated.

There will be no more starving myself, as clearly that does not work as effective weight loss. I will not eat junky foods because that has clearly had a detrimental effect on the temple walls. I will not think negatively as that too will affect how my temple is situated. I will remember just how blessed I am, how amazing God is, how perfect His creations are. I am one of His creations and I will remember that when I get discouraged. I will remember that God doesn't make mistakes. My freewill did this so my freewill needs to make the changes necessary to recover God's intended work.

I will no longer chide myself needlessly. I will no longer accept less than my best in any situation. I will not accept judgments by others as any kind of truth about me. I will no longer accept anything or anyone that/who attempts to make me feel like I am unworthy or less valuable.

Don't mistake this for self recrimination! I have lived well. I have loved well. I like myself, who I am, what I'm about and the inner me. I am who I am at all times, always being true to me because, again, God doesn't make mistakes, and I'm not a mistake! I'd rather be me and be able to look myself in the eye at the end of the day, knowing I can be proud of who I am than to have to think I represented myself falsely to anyone, least of all myself. Sure, I have made mistakes but I've learned from my mistakes. I don't regret anything I've been through or any mistake I've made because in each and every situation, good, bad or even ugly, I have learned valuable lessons. What ever choices I've made, the consequences, good and bad, are mine and I willingly own them.

In the Lord's prayer, there is one particular line that can really haunt you if you don't pay close attention. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." If I ask God to forgive me, I must also forgive others. Who am I to think that I am so much bigger than the Lord that I should not forgive others? Who am I indeed?! I am small, one of billions of people walking this magnificent planet. I am a tiny little person who sins. If I can be so bold as to ask the Lord His forgiveness, then surely I can forgive others for their faults, sins, transgressions against me too. And that includes forgiving myself.

So, my decision for today's Lazarus Experiment is this. I Forgive Myself. I hold myself harmless and hereby forgiven for any poor decision I've made, any way I have not done my best for myself, any situation in which I have suffered because of any bad choice, for poor food choices, for poor exercise habits, for not giving God my best in any and all situations. I am starting today with a clean slate and have asked God for His divine forgiveness for all my transgressions.