So Tuesday is the day. I go into the hospital at 6:15am and surgery is to begin at 7. So far I'm at the top of the list. Barring anyone with complications (diabetic, pediatric emergency, geriatric emergency or heart patient) I'll be the first surgery Tuesday morning.
To say I'm frightened is accurate. I'm oddly at peace with this. I'm a little bit apprehensive, which I think is completely natural, but other than that I'm looking forward to the relief. I know that all surgeries have pain associated with recovery. I've had enough surgeries to know that. But I have to believe that the recovery is going to be minimal compared to what I've been through the last three weeks.
All in all, I'm looking forward to being in there and getting this done. Not to mention the peace at night to sleep unbothered by anyone calling, needing me for something etc. To think that my family is going to step up and do all my normal chores for the next 90 days is absolutely laughable. I know better than that. The doctor says no lifting, bending, squatting, slouching, reaching, pushing etc for 90 days. I'm not allowed to drive for 2 weeks. I will NOT be cooking Thanksgiving dinner nor will I clean it. I will not be taking the laundry tot he garage to do, cleaning the bathrooms, emptying all the household trashcans, getting the recycling to the curb, etc. I won't be vacuuming, waching the tub, mopping the floors, sweeping, cleaning the cat box. I will not be driving out in the middle of the night to pick up the oldest from work. I won't be hauling in the grocery bags or raking the yard. I won't be picking up little boy. I won't be playing in the snow (if we get it). I won't be helping him with his bicycle. I won't be pulling his games off the shelf or putting them away. I won't be sitting and playing his games for hours and pretending that the 9th round of Monopoly is actually fun.
I will be fretting over all the above not getting done. I will be walking. I've been told to walk walk walk. I'm looking forward to that part. Not keen on the 39 degree weather we've had for the last three days, but walking is good! I wish I could get something done with my knee that would allow me to walk pain free but that's for another time.
While I have to walk with someone for the first few weeks, after that I've been encouraged to walk as far as I can, as long as I can. I can do that! I'm looking forward to these long treks. I'm looking forward to journeying through my neighborhood to see the decorations, to pet all the dogs and cats, to enjoy listening to the laughter of the children playing in our park. I'm looking forward to meeting the school bus once again. I'm looking forward to feeling like I'm really living again instead of watching life from a distance.
I"m looking forward to enjoying the meal that my kids will cook on Thursday. I"m looking forward to all the blessings I know are in store of us. While this may be tough, I know there are many blessings to come from it. I thank God for the opportunity to go through this and come out on the other side.
In case I miss you on the other side, I wish you all a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. Take some time to remember how blessed you are, to find the goodness in what and who is around you, to snuggle with your children on Thanksgiving day while watching the Macy's Day parade and smelling the turkey or ham cooking in the oven. And if you're having a tough time this holiday like so many of us are, I wish you many blessings, a day of love, thanks and goodness. I wish you a day of joy, a day of gratitude and a day of abundance.
Great blessings to all of you, where ever you are, whom ever you are.